These are not the easiest of times in which to be alive as we look around the world and witness our ‘better angels’ and ‘demons’ engaged in a tense and drawn-out struggle for dominance as they each strive to gain the upper hand and assume governance of our lives. Our current civilization does not always bear the hallmarks of a civilized society.
The dictionary definition of civility is: “A civilized conduct, especially courtesy and politeness.” It would appear that we are being plagued with a rash of uncivil behavior in the form of cruelty, callousness and caustic criticism. The truth is that we are so much more than how we are currently behaving. There is a greater destiny and promise waiting to be revealed and a more perfect union seeking to be established by us as a species.
From where do these lower tendencies to diminish each other stem and what possible measures can be taken so we may establish ‘right human relations’ among and between us all? When I view our society from the vantage point of a detached observer – without assigning blame or judgment – the following thoughts come to mind concerning the prevailing psychological climate and our present predicament.
Cruelty is the heartless act of intentionally harming another person – whether this be through physical abuse and torture, emotional wounding or by vitriolic thoughts and acerbic comments. The Agni Yoga teaching reinforces this point by stating: “The most deadly dagger is not at the belt but at the tip of the tongue. Sometime it will have to be understood that the spoken and also that which is thought are indelible.”
Callousness comes from a lack of heart and an absence of empathy for our fellow citizens and a blindness to the universal fact that we are all inter-related aspects of the One Life. Callousness is cold-hearted and automatically severs and disconnects us from the natural fellowship and communion of our shared humanity.
Criticism often arises from a need to denigrate and put down another to show one’s superiority. If we appreciate the implications of the spiritual axiom, “Energy follows thought” then it is obvious that harsh criticism floods and fills the ethers with a virulent poison. What people often fail to realize is that it ultimately damages the one who criticizes through their directed and focused stream of thought and yet, it hurts even more the one who is the object of our criticism. Unvoiced criticism is also very harmful for it is powerfully focused and inwardly held and thus continuously sends out a steady stream of negative energy. It is often sent forth on the wings of jealousy, ambition and pride with a belief that the one who criticizes is in a position to understand correctly and therefore knows what is right and best in that situation.
All three of these behaviors are deemed to be traits of the separated self – the personality still functioning in isolated survival mode and living in fear and competition with its surroundings. Dr Roberto Assagioli (the founder of the spiritual psychology Psychosynthesis and the inspiration behind Meditation Mount) wrote a paper on Personal Development in which he shared some observations on this theme:
“What we are witnessing here is moral mutilation, which is in a sense more serious than physical mutilation. And those responsible for causing such states in others have much to answer for. The only excuse they can claim is that they are often unaware of the harm they are doing, but the time has come for such psychological crimes to cease.
Curious as it may seem, criticism serves to satisfy the desire for communion with others, though it is only partially successful and destructive in its effect. This apparent paradox should not surprise us too much, indeed what can most readily unite and reconcile people and groups of human beings is having a real or assumed enemy in common.
We should not be surprised therefore that people are all too eager for the pleasurable fellowship and agreement that comes from sharing their criticisms of others! This is not true fellowship or union, however; it is merely a temporary, superficial coming together, because it is based on separateness and not on unity.
Everyone must come to realize that criticism, disparagement, pessimism and forecasts of failure are nothing less than poisons, whereas loving understanding, appreciation, encouragement and a healthy optimism are life-giving: they summon dormant energies and can lead to a wonderful inner blossoming and to precious works.”
The simple truth is that the corrosive psychic climate in which we live is the result of our collective thoughts and actions. We are delusional if we believe it is possible to talk ourselves out of a situation that we have behaved ourself into. This is strongly emphasized by the Master responsible for Agni Yoga whose no-nonsense approach succinctly states, “Do not offer me promises and excuses – show me your intent by your actions.”
The needed migration from a cruel and hostile environment to one that is life-affirming and deeply nourishing will only occur when we shift from being self-centered and aggressively defensive and enter into a new relationship with life where we recognize the interconnectedness of all things and people and realize that harming any one part harms the whole of which, incidentally, we are each an integral and vital part. Drawing again upon the wisdom contained in the Agni Yoga teaching, we read:
There are many ways in which we can help re-weave the torn fabric of society and create a more just and joyful world that is founded on a unified field of caring and sharing. These include prayer, meditation, subtle activism, socially-responsible campaigns and community service. For instance, at 5:00 PM each day thousands of people in their respective time zones around the world sound the following affirmation – creating a continuous rolling wave of potent prayer around the planet.
May the Power of the One Life
Pour through the group of all true servers
May the Love of the One Soul
Characterize the lives of all who seek to aid the Great Ones
May I play my part in the One Work through
Self-forgetfulness, harmlessness and right speech.
This collective practice strengthens our inner link with the Source of Life and weaves closer connections among the global network of those who seek to serve the Common Good. The Teacher who gave out this Prayer, asserts that practicing and perfecting the three qualities mentioned in the final line during the course of a lifetime will produce huge advances in the expansion of human consciousness and greatly assist in the building of a New Civilization.
Self-forgetfulness is a state of awareness in which we know ourselves to be part of a greater Identity and Reality and where the illusion of separation has been dissolved. By ‘forgetting self’ we do not lose our personal identity – instead we gain a greater sense of Self in the shift from ‘I’ to ‘We’ and become more group conscious.
Harmlessness is a state of being that allows the intrinsic goodness of the human Spirit to flow through and from us as our contribution to Life. It is the spreading of unconditional love in every moment to everyone and everything because the natural urge of the Soul is always to give freely of its light and warmth to all.
Right Speech is the sounding forth into the world of beneficent ‘formulated thoughts’ that are life-affirming and promote the full flowering of the human spirit. Right speech is an active ingredient in the practice of harmlessness.
So, we may ask if there is such a thing as wrong speech? As we have explored, there is definitely non-constructive and unhelpful speech and probably the clearest example of this would be the hateful and critical language referenced earlier. Unfortunately, we are witnessing a proliferation of unhelpful and unkind speech which appears to be the new lingua franca of the ‘Twittersphere’ – that growing band of instant communication enveloping the Earth and permeating society fueled by our need to compare, comment and judge.
As Henry James elegantly remarked: “Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind.”
A final pearl offered by Agni Yoga informs us that:
“Magnanimity can follow only after heartlessness has been cast out. Nothing is more frightful than that heartlessness which is in the pretended magnanimity that lives in the heart of egoism... From every manifested terror let us turn to magnanimity.”
Whenever the need for a gentle reminder of how to comport myself in life arises, I always return to a twelve-word distillation of the Buddhist teaching that guides me back onto the Pathway of Right Human Relations. It is a very simple and clear mantram of intent: “Only think, say, and do that which is kind, helpful, and true.”
Whether we preside over a nation, are a leader in our community or have assumed full responsibility as stewards of our own life, what we transmit through thought and word affects the whole system. The truth is that we need an immediate opening of the heart and a mass migration from the harsh and barren land of cruelty into the rich and nourishing realm of loving kindness if the deep promise of humanity is to flourish and flower on Earth.
The true and lasting change we all seek starts from the deep space within our souls and moves out like rays of the sun to warm and illumine the cold dark places of our collective psyche. This is what it means to walk the Pathway of Right Human Relations – a Path that inevitably leads us from the shadowland of inhumane actions into the kindly light and warmth of a Soul-centered society.
May we joyfully walk this path together – one step at a time and one day at a time.
Michael Lindfield
Board President
Meditation Mount